Hi There! I assume if you are here, you are at the beginning of this journey and your wonderful child just came out to you. So, first and most importantly, just BREATHE. Here I will share some resources and steps that we took and hopefully they will be a help to you all on your journey.
This is not a death sentence. This is not the “end of the world.” This is still YOUR KID. That wonderful little (maybe not so little anymore) person that you brought into this world. Still that kid you have high hopes for happiness and success, this has not changed.
Yes, your mental images of the future may shift and change a bit, but were those ever guaranteed or written in stone? No. So this isn’t any different Yes, pronouns and names may change, but this is still your child. They are just finally living their truth as You Do Every Day. Things may evolve and change on this journey of self-discovery, but this is the farthest from a “Phase.” Remember that!
Be supportive, loving, and have open ears. Be a shoulder to lean on, cry on, be their rock. Work on being their liaison, their connection to the community. Plug yourself in as well. Help them and yourself to get the connections and education that is lacking. Trust me this will help all of you.
I fully believe the best thing I did was connecting my reason and myself into the local and online LGBTQ+ community groups and get in touch with all the resources available.
If you are at a loss of where to go and what to look up, let me point you some directions-
- PFlag
- Free Mom Hugs – Serendipitydodah – Mama Bears
- TransFamily Support Services
- GLSEN
- Safe Space Library Time
- LGBTQ+ Themed Groups through your Medical Provider
- Welcoming Schools Program
- *For College – Campus Pride Index (to help you decide a safer campus)
- *If you happen to also live in San Diego, there is The Center & SD Pride tends to list more on their pages from time to time.
My child was a tad bit younger when they started putting their puzzle pieces together, luckily they were already in therapy so they were able to navigate their feelings out there more (just make sure you advocate for them to have a therapist up on the LGBTQ+ Community, not all therapists are created equal). Also, because of the age, it was a touch harder finding books of their age range and most recently updated to include Pan and Queer terms, but I found this book to be the most helpful out there and they have nothing but great things to say about it. Highly Recommend- Queer; The Ultimate Guide for Teens.
One last thing is to keep an eye out for local events. Most of the pages I have shared will keep you informed on them as they happen, but we are once again lucky to be in San Diego where San Diego State University (SDSU) highly ranked by Campus Index served as a host to a local youth conference. That conference helped educate Parents and Adults through Teens in separate safe spaces, it was extremely helpful. If you see something like our local “Y.E.S. Conference,” definitely try to attend.
Just remember to take everything one step at a time and be there for that kiddo of yours. Be as supportive as possible! Using proper names and pronouns makes all the difference. Feel free to google those statistics yourself.
And, Welcome to the Club!
From one parent to another! <3 Hugs!
Melissa M
Love love love this!!! I am definitely going to bookmark this to share with friends when the time comes!
admin
Glad you’ll be ready, I know a lot of mamas will definitely turn to you.
Louise
What a wonderful mumma you are! So important to support our kids – it’s tough out there for them for all sorts of reasons… and they need to feel 100% accepted and supported by us! x
admin
Thank you so much. I try. And really, it is so important, they need us, our love & support.
Juliana
Love this! Definitely needs to be shared because Iβm sure many donβt know what to do in these situations!
-Juliana /onlytrulyjuli.wordpress.com
admin
It totally was a learning process, but I’m glad our learning and experiences can help others too. Thank you.
Cindy
Great article! I always tell my children I’ll love them no matter who they decide is their person. Love is love!
Felicia
Yes! Love is Love! <3
Julie
I love this post! I have a gay son who came out to me when he was in college. This information is great for parents. Thanks for sharing. Love is Love! π
admin
Awe! Thanks, Julie! I’m sure your reason is happy to have you be his side! And it’s great he felt safe coming out to you too. Love is Love, for sure! <3
Michal
this is such a beautiful post. sounds like you are such a wonderful mother, and I wish more parents gave their children unconditional love, which unfortunately is not a given… thanks for sharing this!
admin
You made me tear up! Thank you! Hopefully, this gets spread and some of those fears that block other parents’ ways go away. I couldn’t imagine not being there or trying my best. I just hope this helps as many children out there as possible.
Christina
Love this!! Great positivity!
admin
Thank you! <3
Megan Doyle
Such a great message, thank you for taking the time to share your knowledge and experience on this.
admin
Aw, thank you! I hope it helps.
Nicole
I love this support. I appreciate all of the resources you have shared!
admin
Thank you!
Candice
Thanks for putting this together. My kids are still pretty young, but I really appreciate having a resource to turn to if I need it.
admin
The good news is now, you have this if not for your kids’ but for any friend that may need it. Thank you for being open, it will make all the difference for sure!
Chelsea
Nice read!
Felicia
Thanks.
Jessica Collazo
This is so beautiful. We have to embrace our children, just because they are ours and because we love them. And it doesn’t matter if they are gay or straight,we just have to love them and learn to love their diversity.
Felicia
Thank you. And 1005 YES to every bit you said!
Brooke
What a beautiful mum! You are such an inspiration! ! So important to support our kids β itβs a tough gig! πβ€οΈ
Felicia
Thank you, bringing tears to my eyes. I’m trying. I hope it helps others too.
Chelsea
Great read thank you for sharing
Felicia
Welcome.
nadine friedman
Wonderful Blog. Thanks for sharing.
Felicia
Thanks.