You don’t have to be LGBTQ+ to care about LGBTQ+ rights. Being an ally is so important! With all the laws being pushed through, hate crimes left and right, and the deaths of too many of the trans community, allies and advocates are needed. You are needed. But it is also important to learn how to help, in the right ways. Most of this lesson will be pretty universal to whatever area of “Ally” not just for the LGBTQ+ community, but I am focusing there. Also with Trans Day of Visibility (TDoV) being around the corner, there’s no better time to reflect.

• It can be exhausting, so please take your own personal time to educate yourself. A great start is ordering “The Queens’ English” by Chloe O. Davis, a Queer Black Author. She gives short easy to comprehend definitions and it has great graphics. This is a great place to start. There are also countless other books I have mention on the site, like “The ABC’s of LGBT+” …and anything from this list! Also, this newly released book speaking specifically to allies, “Be an Inclusion Ally: ABCs of LGBTQ”. Really, pick up a book!

• Education doesn’t stop there, Watch the Political Battles.
  • Currently, in the US alone there are 131 anti-LGBTQ+ bills being considered across state legislatures. Trans kids are in a fight just to play sports! Voting, protesting, rallying, petitions, calling, and writing senators, it’s all-important. HRC shared that it’s been a record-breaking year for Anti-Transgender Legislation.
  • And don’t forget around the world! I also feel for friends in Poland right now, with their “LGBT Free-Zones.” It’s scary. Keep your eyes and ears open to the news, we must continue the fight for progress and equal protections.

• Don’t give your money or support anti-LGBTQ+ businesses …I’m looking at you, Chick-fil-A….though this list can get long, watch where you spend your money. For example, avoiding officially licensed Harry Potter items, J.K. Rowlings does not deserve your money!

• Be a VISIBLE ally! This can be as simple as wearing an “I’ll Go With You” (#IllGoWithYou) pin, but be visible! Things can be scary, especially if there are crowds, events, clubs, be an ally willing to escort to the bathroom. Or a visible someone to turn to, we are all taught to “look for the helpers” and this is one way to do so. I always wear my pin for big events, like on my SDCC lanyard. Even if I’m not needed I know it’s a good visual cue to those around me. (*Psst, if you chose to order from BUTTON BUTTON, use promo code “ElloFelicia” for 10% off, also bonus it’s an LGBTQ+ Owned Small Business. *not sponsored.)

• Be ready to have those tough conversations! Call out those friends/family sharing that homophobic meme. Don’t let the anti-LGBTQ+ joke just slide. I know it’s hard, but it’s harder for those that are the butt of the joke and living their life in fear. You can try with compassion and education, but be willing and ready to draw your lines in the sand. Having an ally willing to take on those hard conversations for us has been the biggest weight off our shoulders, speaking from experience. This includes helping when hearing misgendering pronouns or the use of a deadname. Help your LGBTQ+ friend or loved one out! It’s not easy to always have to fight, give them that breathing room and let them see someone gets it.

• Show up! Go to protests! Share resources. Be a safe space. Lend a helping hand. A shoulder to lean on. Someone willing to help them, even if that means just getting them to a space that can help.
  • If you know who to put them in touch with that’s a huge help right there! At times it can pull on your heartstrings and I know you’ll want to give everything you can, but it’s ok to remember you are only one person. There is a reason for resource centers, this is what they are there for. Please, don’t feel like you are alone.

• The biggest part, at the end of the day, remember it is not about you. It’s about them. Don’t make the point of the battle about you. Remember those in the community, their struggles, and why they need to be uplifted, promoted, and keep them the center of the conversation. Even though straight allies get a flag too, keep elevating Queer Voices. You will notice queer content gets removed and hidden far too often!

You don’t have to be a superhero and take on everything to be a good ally. Just showing up is a great start. Do your best and be willing to learn. Thank you for trying to be an ally!