Let’s address the turkey in the room… Thanksgiving. No matter if you are talking about it in the States or in Canada, it’s the same. A holiday with lots of not-so-hidden pain.

It’s always a bit of a process and a moment when you learn something you once thought was a cause for celebration was actually anything but. Though, let’s be honest, you probably questioned those Thanksgiving lessons even in grade school. But we’re adults now! And being an adult means I’m in control of our own holidays and traditions, which means we can change and evolve them with our knowledge and comfort levels. We can do better for future generations.

Let’s learn to change and evolve Thanksgiving traditions. We can do better. When we learn history isn’t what we thought it was, it’s up to us to say enough and address it.

I personally feel like the holiday’s tone needs to be switched. I feel like one of more remembrance and memorial is more fitting, as well as thanking Indigenous communities. Or even more importantly taking it as a day to personally educate yourself and your children about what it really cost. Thanksgiving wasn’t the start of some “great friendship.”

The issue goes beyond the “discovery” date, which, hello! There were people here, that’s not much of a discovery (facepalm) but this is so much more than misleading history. It extends to now as well and how we chose to treat Indigenous following that. You don’t have to do a deep dive into the research to see the travesties that have been done. Look at Canada and the “Every Child Matters” movement. This heartbreak for too many First Nation families. Or what The US continues to do to our Native American communities. Canada did have its first National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, it’s something. The US made November Native American History Month. But it’s all not nearly enough.

We need to go further and make this hit home.

One of my friends had a great idea that she shared doing with her littles last year turning the Thanksgiving dinner into a different kind of “thankful” conversation. I’m all for it! (You can see the full reel here.)

Another idea is to get some books to read with the kiddo(s) from actual Indigenous creators. Let that be the proper kind of Thanksgiving stories like, “We are Grateful Otsaliheliga,” “Fry Bread,” and “47,000 Beads.” Get inspired by the books, work a lesson, craft, or cook with your kid! I still remember my kiddo and I making fry bread and I highly recommend it.

Just think about taking this time to amplify Indigenous voices instead of popping on some water-downed history cartoon, sorry Peanuts, but I’m directing this comment your way.

Maybe you live near a tribe and live on native land? Look out for local events open to educating communities. We live in San Diego, Kumeyaay land, and have been very fortunate to attend a few events ourselves. I also recommend following Indigenous creators, I’m glad my future sis-in-law pointed me to IG @misscorinne86 and I highly recommend you give her a follow as well as this TikTok list and some. Let’s learn from them.

SIDE NOTE and quick rant, since I just used the word “Tribe” do us all a favor, stop referring to your group of friends as your “Tribe.” Stop using it as a clever username for your MLM business, if you aren’t in an actual tribe, don’t use the term. Just stop it! Ok, stepping down from my soapbox, but you get the point.

Let’s all just choose to do better. Let’s learn. It’s time to reframe what Thanksgiving is. I know we can do better. What are you doing or thinking this Thanksgiving?