There are things in life you didn’t know you needed until you had it! Having a partner that wasn’t afraid of “Menstruation” was one of them!
10 out of 10 recommend!

Allow me to explain.

My previous life, ….thee ex….thee whom shall not be named, was ok. He got that some times things hurt and a heating pad or a lower backrub went a long way, but I could never count on his help if there was an emergency need of pads/tampons/etc. Even after childbirth or surgery that was just one thing completely off the table.

As we’re young we are taught like this hidden shame in “that time of the month” like it’s a taboo. Open dialogue was never the norm. Why would I assume married life that would change? That was still a “gross time to hide my shame.” Menstruation is the worst. Even the name isn’t fun, none of it should be surprising. What guy is really wanting to have to take part in that mess?

The ex was okay with knowing it was time, and that seemed good enough. Probably better than normal. I just knew better than to ask for help on the buying level. That was definitely not a question to even be asked! I dared once and it lead me to be driven to 7-11 in those terrible oversized period pj’s (you know them, we all have them and ant no one to see them). Well, needless to say, I never wanted to do that again.

But, then life changes.

Divorce. New house. New Partner, but still expecting this one thing to remain forever the same.

And then one day, it happens! The one thing no one wants! My period catches me off guard and unprepared. Here I am, on my heaviest day, hating life, in severe pain and I am completely out of the necessary items!

I must have said something out loud because next to happen catches me. “What are you out of? What can I get you? How can I help you?” 

I am completely floored!

Do I dare take the chance and even say what I need? Do I say what’s happening? I mean, by that point we were living together and I was pretty comfortable with sharing “it’s that time of the month” and whatnot, I mean, what can it hurt?

I get brave. “I’m out of tampons and heavy pads???” (I still say it as more like a question.)

Without missing a beat, he replies, “Ok, can you send me a picture of what kind? I’ll run now and get them.” OMG! What just happened!? Am I embarrassed? Am I nervous? Is this even okay????

The test begins.

I do it! Screenshot and send without any high hopes.

Flashback to my past; slightly expecting him to return frustrated and furious.  There are a million options and all so colorful, but not the same. He didn’t grow up with sisters, this can’t be good.

BUT, IT IS!

Wonderfully, to my utter surprise, he returns, with the right items and an extra chocolate bonus dessert! All worries and fears are tossed aside. I can breathe. It actually feels comforting and loving!

It’s a period. It’s normal. Why was I scared?

Since then the dialogue has gotten so easy, almost routine. It’s natural. It feels natural. I don’t stress if he is running to the store and happen to be in need. That fear now feels almost silly. I don’t feel like I must now hide.

And I realize this is the way it should be. Menstruation is already bad enough, why put ourselves through that!?

This is the way I’m teaching my child. I check in around that time and just say, “Hey, running to the store are you running low on anything? Need me to grab before then?” I don’t want them to ever feel like it’s something to hide or fear. I’m trying my best to make it easy to have that open communication. Trying to establish it’s healthy, normal, and those that love you are there to help you.

I really never knew how important it was to have a partner’s support in this corner. Just never imaged a man even to be as open to helping as he was! And those extra caring touches! Who would say no to extra dessert and special meals during a period? (I mean, I definitely have to credit his mama for that!) I am thankful. And, as I said, I HIGHLY recommend, find yourself a partner that’s up for the challenge.

Am I crazy for hoping this is everyone’s new norm? It is only a natural human process, why hide or fear to ask for help? Especially from the ones that are supposed to love you most.

Menstruation/period/that time of the month/Aunt Flow is no longer taboo here. Lesson learned!